My Brother

Like the title suggests, this is a post about my brother, my older brother.

I have been really worried about my relationship with my him. We absolutely do not get along at all. And it's getting really bad.

Growing up, I used to blame our fights and frequent arguments on the age difference ( he's only 1 yr and about 5months older). But, now I see that we just can't get along, and this really bothers me. We can't have a decent conversation without it ending up in arguments, and he is a very stubborn individual, which does not work for me, cause I'm also very stubborn. And when I say we argue, I mean, we argue about everything possible! It has gotten to the point that I can't eat his grocery and he can't touch mine either (we live together, SHOOT ME!!!).

We had a huge fight when we went home in December for the christmas break and it was the first time he hit me (yea, it's that bad). I'm gonna try my best to give every detail of the fight.

Ok, so NEPA or Power Holding blah blah (whatever they are called nowadays) "took light" {lol}, and we had the generator on for a whole day, so the next day, they was still no electricity, and my mom told us to go and put off the gen for a while, incase NEPA decides not to give us electricty again. I obviously don't know how to work the gen, so i called my bro, "hey bro, mom said you should turn off the gen." And since we do not get along very well, he did not even respond to me(i'm used to this by the way, we hardly talk, yet we live together). By this time, my mom had already left for work, so after about an hour, I went back to him, "bro, you should turn off the gen, to give it some time to rest incase we don't have electricity tonight" (again no answer).

So, I took it upon myself to try to turn it off. I told my younger bro to go ahead and turn off the gen; and in comes my older bro, shouting about how he is watching a movie and if anyone turns off the gen, it's gonna be hell.

After this, i'm furious!!!, and I make a comment about how irrational he is. And he turns around and slaps me (actually it was a backhand), saying he's not my mate, and I should never call him irrational. Ok, so i'm sooooooooooo angry, and i'm crying and abusing the shit outta him, and in comes my dad(poor man, he has tried soooo much to make us get along), I tell my dad everything, and he's just fed up, and he just starts talking about how he doesn't understand how brother and sister cannot get along, is this how we fight each other in America?....blah blah.

After this little episode, I did not say one word to him, till we got back to America.

So after this fight, I got to thinking, is it me? Am I the one with the problem? and I started to re-evaluate everything. I tried to involve him in a conversation about our relationship and he just wouldn't hear it. I have tried my best to be as reasonable as possible with him, but it's just not working.

It's been about 3months after that incident and we are still at the same place we were, we don't talk much, unless we have something to discuss about school, or money my dad sent us or something like that. And the only show we had in common (The Wire) is over now, so no more discussions about that (LOL). And I have pretty much given up on trying to be cool with my brother. I love him because afterall he is my brother, but we just very different people.

So, I hate to admit this, but I GIVE UP!!! I guess we are just one of those siblings that do not get along.

oh well
Jay

I'm FAT!!!

ok, not really


I have gained roughly 25pounds since i came to the U.S. for college. WOW, and I'm so unsatisfied with how I look right now. However, it's not as bad as i make it sound. I'm a U.S. size 6, i used to be a 2/4. I wake up, look in the mirror, and my midsection just screams at me. YIKESSS!!

So, last summer, I decided to make a drastic change, I had to fit into my size 4 clothes again! I went to the gym religiously, worked out on the elliptical for about 30mins, I burned about 400-450 cal, then played racketball/tennis with my BFF, did some weight-training (ok, i was really kidding myself here lol), and THE END.

I did this crap 5 days a week, for about 3 months! So, when time came to see the results, obviously, I was feeling really great about myself, I thought, well, i should have lost at least 10pounds. My body felt much tighter, my butt was definitely looking great.....


DRUM ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!


I looked down and I did not lose one pound, I actually gained more weight. GAWD, i was furious! I talked to some of my friends, and they said some crap about how muscles weigh more than fat. I clearly don't give a shit about that, I just want to lose weight.

This was Summer 07. After that , I gave up. Temporarily. This yr, I decided to work out and eat only organic foods. So, i have become a whole foods regular. It's fun, the whole culture of whole foods, it's like a different world of organic make up, and so many different types of yogurt to try. I love it!

Another angle i'm taking is cooking my own food, which is very very very tricky. Tricky 'cause I can't cook for shit! The only meal I can make and make pretty well is Jollof Rice. So yea.... tips please.

I haven't weighed myself yet, but my clothes feel a tiny bit loose on me (at least in my head, or it could be that they are just really stretched out). We'll have to wait to see the results.

Bisous
Jay

Life comes at you FAST!!!

Without a doubt, life comes at you fast! One minute, i'm graduating from high school, the next i'm moving away to America, and now another graduation is around the corner (May to be exact), but i can't help but wonder, did i even choose the right major in college, or wonder if I am on the right path, or what the next plan should be. I know it's late to have these thoughts but I'm sooooo confused right now.

And to make matters worse, EVERYONE has questions for me, Oh Jay, what's the plan after graduating?, are u going to stay in the U.S.....blah blah blah.

I just need a breather! I just want to be (whatever that means).

Sigh
Jay

Cherry Popped!

Well, honestly I'm not new to the blogging world. I'm used to reading other people's thoughts, so I decided to share my world with everyone.... So, Welcome!

Jay